i just did a really intense workout and i’m shaking uncontrolably. after i finished it i ran upstairs and had 3 glasses of water and then i just started throwing up. what the fuck is wrong with me…
every single night i think about killing myself whether i’ll drown myself, over dose or let myself bleed to death. but then i always get scared of who will find me what will happen to them and others and how i’ll make everything worse. but than again i don’t like me, would i eventually become a distant memory, something that isn’t talked about and if my name is mention would there be a silence that falls across the people who hear it or more bad mouthing even though i didn’t exist any more.
i want to do it so badly but i can’t i’m a pussy, i’m useless and i fail at everything i do.